Breakaway

2005-11-07T08:45:00.000-08:00

Wow so I haven't posted since September! It's not that I haven't had the time its just that not a whole lot has happened to actually write about so whats the point? Anyways, still not a whole lot going on and I kinda have to go soon so I will just try to give a quick run down of things. . .
I got the role of the Queen in the Chamber Choir madrigals this year so thats exciting!
Lau's show Metamorphoses opens this Wed so heartfelt "break a leg" goes out to her and the rest of the cast and crew!
My sister's senior musical opens this week as well so Break a leg Jaz!
A tornado hit parts of the tristate this week and did alot of damage including destroying my uncle's apt but at least he and my cousin are alright. Pray for all those who were deeply affected by it!
Finally the biggest game of the NFL season is here - the Colts vs the Pats! Can the Colts finally beat them this year? I hope so!!!
Well, not much else happening so I will leave it at that. Later y'all!

2005-09-26T11:19:00.000-07:00

Not really much going on again but I am bored and thought I would just post a little something. Had a kick ass highlighter party this weekend which was tons of fun. I was so excited with who all came. I got to know some new people and I got to see an old friend which was so awesome! There were some interesting things that happen but thats always the case with one of our parties. LOL Oh I forgot! On Friday, Amy and I went to Fast Eddy's to party down, and Michael Rosenbaum from Smallville was there! He is from this area and was back in town. He actually graduated from Castle High School with my Aunt Somer. Anyways, he ended up singing Summer of 69 and Jesse's Girl with the band. It rocked! Other than that, not much else is happening. Still trying to find a job, a guy, and so on and so forth. . .blah blah blah. LOL Well, thats all for now. Lates

2005-09-26T11:10:00.000-07:00

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.
You give and take equally in relationships.
You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.
You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.
You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

2005-09-19T11:16:00.000-07:00

Not a whole lot going on right now. I am sitting in the computer lab because I don't have class again until 3 and its pointless for me to go back to the apt especially since we are without internet still. So how's life been for me you may ask? Well, its been good for the most part. Class is class as always and I am still without a new job which means still without money which freaks my parents out bc Iknow its added stress for them. But by the same token, its added stress for me as well. My first priority is getting through school and getting my degree in theatre, and with my schedule it is very hard to get a solid job. So trying to balance all of that can be difficult and extremely stressful. Oh well. Anyways, so my friend Amy came down for the weekend again and we all had alot of fun. I am really excited that my 2 best friends get along so well. It makes me so happy. I love them both dearly. But back to the weekend, Friday Lauren, Me, Amy, Layne, and Kevin chilled at our apt and watch The Princess Bride (which is such a wonderful movie) and Lau, Layne, and I taught Kevin how to play Egyptian Ratscrew. Good times. Then Amy, Kevin and I went out to Fast Eddy's and had a blast. Things got VERY INTERESTING to say the very least. I am still confused but hey what can I say. That must be the blonde in me. It was fun though! I enjoyed myself. When I came back to the apt, I had to tell Lau everything so we talked for a bit, but then after I had changed into pjs her and Layne called me into the living room and attacked me with super soakers! They pulled a good one on me, but IT'S ON NOW! LOL! Then Saturday, I had callbacks for Metamorphoses which I felt went pretty well, and I think I did really strong work but I still don't think I will get cast bc I am in production for The Birthday Party as the ASM and that takes away for Metamorphoses rehearsals. I would be lying if I said that I wouldn't be disappointed about not being cast bc in all honesty I would love to be a part of this show. Its an amazing piece and I love its content. If I had known that being an ASM would effect my chances for Metamorphoses, I wouldn't have done it and I would have waited for Metamorphoses. But thats in the past now, and nothing can be done about it. All I can do now is hope that John knows that my work is strong and I will do everything whatever it takes to not be a weak link in the show if I get cast. Good luck to all who auditioned you were all amazing by the way! I know whoever gets cast will make the show a very memorable one. Anyways, after callbacks, Amy and chilled while Lau got ready for a wedding she was attending with Layne. (She looked hot by the way!) Then Amy and I went to Club Baja that night with her friend Blaine. We had so much fun. Ya gotta love it when you have random guys buy drinks for you. Hehe. Then Sunday, I watched the Colts play and beat the Jacksonville Jaguars which I will admit the Colts didn't have their strongest game but at least they won unlike the Patriots who got beat by the Carolina Panthers! Whats up with that?! HA! LOL! Sorry Lau, had to. Anyways, then my weekend was over bc I had to go and perform my duties as ASM for Birthday Party rehearsals. It was just stressful but I came home to Lau who had bought Rocky Road from Coldstone. So we ate that, played some cards, and we ended the night by watching wonderful 80s movies like The Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles while eating popcorn. I love spending time with my Glinda! Now its Monday, and although my Monday schedule isn't bad, I still hate it bc it just means another full week of going insane with classes. Plus, I just want the cast list to be posted for Metamorphoses just so I can be put out of my misery. On the somewhat plus side, we got our midterm pieces for Musical Theatre today. I am not sure yet where I like mine bc I really have never heard of it so I guess I'll just have to see. I would have preferred someone else's but I'll just have to make do with what I got. Who knows, maybe I will end up loving it! Anyways, thats about it for now. Later y'all!

2005-09-15T11:35:00.000-07:00

Wow! It's been over a month since I last posted! Well lets see what is new in my life. I started classes which has had its ups and downs. I enjoy seeing all my USI friends again but I am already stressed out by the amount of work that I am facing. On the plus side of being back in Eville, I am currently living in my new beautiful apt at the no longer USI owned Golden Towers with my bestest friend the amazing and talented Lauren Tait! It is awesome! I love it! It is definitely gonna be a great year just bc of that and the things that we do! LOL I am currently ASM for The Birthday Party. It's. . . well. . . interesting. I am not a big fan of the play but its ok. I am at least getting some stage managing credits for my resume. Speaking of stage managing, I miss the cast of I Love You You're Perfect Now Change. That was some good times. In reality, I just miss Colorado and the people in general! My Tap House crew . . . *sniff sniff* I wish I could just see them all again even for a short period of time. But maybe I will get to bc it is very possible that I might be going back there next summer to do another show for the Great American Laughing Stock Company! YAY! Yes, the director has already said if I want a job I have it! Yay for connections! Anyways, back to the shows here. I have an audition for Metamorphoses tomorrow. I am nervous and excited all at the same time! I am excited about the show bc its an amazing piece but I am also excited just to audition bc it has been since Little Shop that I last auditioned for something. For me, thats a long time. I am very nervous because I don't feel confident in being cast. I am afraid because I have been in all the shows that this director has directed since he's been here and because of that he might not cast me because he might want to give others a chance. I would be so disappointed because I really love this show but I guess I can't always get what I want. Just wish me luck with the auditions. As for other things in my life, I am trying to find a job but so far thats been difficult with my schedule. The boy situation is as it always is - non-existent! Well, I guess I wouldn't necessarily say that bc I have a really messed up situation going on right now with someone but that is all twisted drama right now that I would prefer not be. It really sucks and if you know me and you get to see me a lot (*cough* Lauren *couch*) you know the toll that it is taking on me. I should do the smart thing and just get myself away from it but its not that easy for me to deny my feelings and walk away, as it prolly isn't for most people. But anyways, I don't feel like getting into it more than I already have. At least I have my good guy friends. Especially my friend, Joey, who is over in Iraq right now. He calls me all the time and it makes me happy - even though he always makes fun of me. LOL He is doing very well. He gets to come home in December - finally! I know its only been a year but it seems like forever. Please keep him in your prays so he returns home safely as well as the other soldiers over there. My family is doing very well. We just had my dad's family reunion which was pretty fun besides some minor complications. My cousin got engaged while there which is cool yet depressing since she is 18! Alot of the family was coupled off, just like at my other cousin's wedding, which sucked for me. But on the plus side, I did get to spend alot of time with my "nieces" (my cousins' babies) Cassi and Laci. They are so adorable! I love them to death but I hardly get to see them now that I am back in Eville, so this was nice to get to spend time with them. Other than all of that, I have pretty much updated on all the happenings in my life. Stay tuned and hopefully I will be able to post more often.

2005-08-09T16:19:00.000-07:00

Hmm... so whats new with me? Not really a whole lot. I had a very good weekend because it was Strassenfest weekend! Gotta love the Strassenfest! Wed and Thurs of the week I went out with Erin and Katie and we had fun going to the bars. . . as always! Then Friday I went to the fest with my cousin Sayward and we had a blast! We came back that night and the 2 of us along with Jaz, Brandon, Jade, Javier, and Darrah played Ring of Fire which was alot of fun. Then Sat Katie and Erin came to Jasper to come hang out with me at the fest. We went to watch my sisters kick ass in the Talentspiel (which they won!) and then we went to the Bier Garten with some of my family. Good times! I ran into some people that I knew in high school which was cool. Sunday was the traditional BBQ that my family does every year. Good food great people! We also drank some more, and Sayward and I got crazy! We weren't drunk. . . just goofballs! I had so much fun with her this weekend! We even have new nicknames for each other! She calls me "Mil" and I call her "Sayd". We think their fun. Now that the weekend is over, everyone is just relaxing and trying to recover from the weekend. Prolly the most eventful thing is that everyone is dying their hair today. I did Jade, Darrah, and Arielle's. I think I might do mine too. I am thinking of becoming a brunette. I just want to try something different. Well anyways, I really don't have much else to say and its almost suppertime. Have a good one y'all!

2005-07-31T13:32:00.000-07:00

They say that everything happens for a reason but how do we know that for sure? Are we always able to connect a reason to the random moments that happen everyday of our lives? The more I think about it the more cynical I become towards that saying. Especially when it comes to guys. For example, what is the reason for meeting a totally amazing guy and hitting it off so great with him and eventually falling for him only to be disappointed by the fact that he doesn't feel that way for you? Or what is the reason for having a wonderful night with someone when you know that it can't last bc that person belongs to someone else? Or why does everyone around you get to be happy about being with someone they care for while you are sitting on the sidelines alone and miserable? What is the reason for that? I thought that when someone thought up the saying everything happens for a reason it meant a good reason. The only reason I can see for situations like this is that you are being tortured and hurt. That for some reason someone doesn't see you fit enough to deserve happiness and enjoy getting what you so desperately desire. Maybe thats where everyone makes the mistake. Maybe because its such a highly used saying they automatically attach a positive connotation to it and thats where they went wrong (including me). In reality, noone ever said 'everything happens for a GOOD reason' or 'everything happens for a BAD reason'. They just said A REASON. I don't know if I am making any sense whatsoever. All I know is that nothing really makes sense to me anymore. I am not looking for help and I don't even know if I am looking for an answer bc I don't know if there is an answer out there. I was just looking for an outlet. I had thoughts that I just need to get out, and that's what I have done. I know I will be fine. I always am. So for the very few of you who read this, don't worry about me.

"Reflective thinking turns experience into insight." - John Maxwell

2005-07-29T19:49:00.000-07:00

I have been back in Jasper for almost a week now and for once it hasn't been dull. Don't get me wrong. . .I miss Steamboat major but I have actually had things to do here for once. The day I got was my dad's bday so we had a big BBQ. . . mmm I missed my parents cooking. I got to see Lacey (my cousin Heidi's new baby) finally! She is such a babydoll! And I got to see Cassie (Mandi's baby) and she has gotten so big since I last saw her! Adorable as always! Monday and Tuesday I pretty much relaxed with the exception of going with Mandi and Jaz to get our nails done for Mandi's wedding. Wednesday I went to Evansville and watched the Eville Otters lose the baseball game but that was ok because I got to see people I haven't seen in a while! I went to Katie's new apt which is nice and we got ready bc we went out to Time Out Lounge where we met up with Erin! We were having fun drinking and dancing and then all of a sudden we run into a friend of ours from VU! I hadn't seen him in forever! He hung out with us for the rest of the night which was really cool because we got to catch up. I drove back to Jasper Thurs morning because I was supposed to go out with Mandi that night but she ended up cancelling bc she was so stressed about the wedding. So after hearing from Erin and Jeff, I decided to go back to Eville to go hang out with them all again - this time at Sportsman's. Alot more ppl went with us this time, mostly ones I didn't know, but I still had fun! A little too much maybe? I still don't know. Tonight I had Mandi's wedding rehearsal which went well and so I am sure everything will be great tomorrow. . . minus the fact that I will be pretty much the only w/o a date at the reception. Too bad I don't $3000 bc I could've pulled a Debra Messing like in The Wedding Date and rented an escort. LOL I swear that movie is going to be me someday at my sisters' weddings. Anyways, after tomorrow the next few days should be pretty calm until I go back to Eville next week to go out with everyone again! Can't wait! Then next weekend is Strassenfest!!! If you are in the area you should definitely make a trip to Jasper for the fest! I am excited bc now I am old enough to go to the beer gardens! YAY! Anyone want to go. . . call me! Other than that. . . not much is going on. I think I will just leave it here and go relax so g'night y'all!

2005-07-22T15:06:00.000-07:00

So it is my last day in Steamboat Springs, Colorado, and I can't help but be torn in two. I cannot wait to go home to Indiana and see all my friends back home. I am looking forward to celebrating my dad's birthday with my family and some good homecooking. I am looking forward to go out to the bars with my friends. I am hoping with all my being that I will get to see Stephen bc I miss him bunches and I have missed his silliness and the way he makes me laugh. I am just looking forward to being home. However, with all this looking forward, I can't help but look back at the amazing summer that I have had. First and foremost, thanks go out to my best friend Lau who has done everything she can to make my stay here enjoyable and she has exceeded expectations. She has shown me what a wonderful place Steamboat is and what wonderful people are here. Thanks also to Karen who put up with having an extra mouth to feed while her daughter was home. It means so much to me that she took me in and treated me as family! So many people here have made me feel so welcome and I am going to miss them terribly! I enjoyed my time as a stage manager here and thanks go out to those who made that possible. Thanks to Stuart for taking a chance on me. I will try and look past the purple koolaid and new nikes. LOL Thanks also to the amazing cast and crew for making my job so easy. They are all so talented and it was an honor to work with them and get to know them. Then there is Beth Ann who I can now say is such a great friend and a wonderful person to know! I am sorry that she had to leave so soon and that we had so little time to get to know one another but I am so glad that I met her! She makes me laugh and I can see in her what Lau knew all along about her - how incredibly amazing she is! Then there are the Tap House people. Thanks so much to Gary and Dave for trusting Lau when she called them and said 'hey I have a worker for you.' I have learned so much and it was a pleasure working for them! Then there were my fellow Tap House employees - oh what can I say? They all made the job so much fun. They are all wonderful people! I will miss them greatly - especially Joanna, Cindy, Neal, Pascal, Jed, and Emily (even though she was new too). Those 6, along with others, made me feel like I really belonged and treated me as one of them and it really helped me out here and made me feel welcome. It only made me feel even more a part of everything when quite a few of them not asked but TOLD me that I HAVE to come back to visit! I love y'all for that! I have had some crazy times here (Lau can vouch for that) but this has been one of the best summers of my life and I can't thank everyone, who made it possible, enough! To my friends in Steamboat, thank y'all for everything! I will miss ya terribly! I love all of you!

2005-07-15T11:53:00.000-07:00

So I finally have a tagboard back on my blog. . . yay! Life is going good. I leave to go back to Indiana a week from tomorrow! I can't wait to see my family! Lauren hates when I mention it (sorry Lau) but she is coping with it by thinking about how she will be able to get a new pair of shoes when she takes me to Denver. LOL Gotta love her! In other news, CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY comes out today!!! I am totally pumped! I love Johnny Depp!!! Then tomorrow, I am getting the new Harry Potter book so I have something to read on the way home next weekend! Well, I am being called upon because everyone is ready to leave! Later y'all!

2005-07-11T21:37:00.000-07:00

Which great Wicked song are you? by Blonde Geek
Full name:
Age:
You are:	Defying Gravity
You are not:	The Wizard and I

Quiz created with MemeGen!

2005-07-11T21:20:00.000-07:00

what wicked quote are you? by Wicked freak
name
quote	"OK. Let's just get this over with. No, I'm not seasick. Yes, I was born this way. No, I did not eat grass as a child"
song quote	"kiss me goodbye im defying gravity"

Quiz created with MemeGen!

2005-07-11T17:49:00.000-07:00

I go home to Indiana in 12 days! It's gonna be a little sad because I have really enjoyed myself here and have met some really awesome people, but I am ready to see my family and friends back home! I will be taking a Greyhound which is making some people nervous (*cough* Lauren *cough*) but I had to take a bus from D.C. to NY when I was 16 so I think I will be fine. I leave Sat July 23 and the trip takes 22 hrs so I will be home July 24. . . my dad's birthday!!! Yay for great timing! I will be home for that and for my cousin's wedding the following weekend and for Strassenfest the weekend after that! I am so excited! But like I said I will miss it here. Lau and I have had so much fun this summer and its sad to see it end so soon, and its gonna be sad to say bye to people. The Tap House people especially. They have all been so nice and accepting of me and I am so grateful for it. Thank you to everyone! Well, I will post later!

2005-07-09T22:11:00.000-07:00

2005-07-08T10:52:00.000-07:00

2005-07-07T15:41:00.000-07:00

2005-07-06T16:37:00.000-07:00

2005-07-02T15:38:00.000-07:00

I really don't have a whole lot to say about me right now, this is more for my best friend, Lauren (my Glinda & my Carrie)
I know that times are rough on her right now and that she is feeling alone. But I just want her to know what a simply amazing and simply beautiful person she is. I have known her for 2 years now and each day has been a blessing. I don't know what I would have done if I had never met her.
First of all, she is such a wonderfully talented girl. Every time I see her on stage performing or just hear her singing to a cd (that we have finally decided on LOL), I feel lucky just to know her because she just brings so much life to her performance and I know that I will see her exactly where she belongs someday soon - on the stage accepting a Tony Award for her latest smash Broadway hit!
Second, she is someone I know that I will always have fun with. It doesn't matter if we are sitting around being lazy watching another episode of Sex and the City or we are out acting like little kids with candy necklaces playing on the playground (maybe "admiring" certain signs) or being a little more daring picking certain orange objects off the side of the road. The point is we always have fun. She can make any day something to look forward to with her sense of adventure and excitement.
Thirdly, she is the most loving, caring, dependable person I know. Whenever there is something going wrong in my life, I know that she will be there for me. Even if she is having troubles of her own, she always makes sure that she is there when her friends need her, and she always has a loving word to help or even just a laugh and a smile when her friends do stupid things like getting smashed on their 21st birthday and all they can say when she comes to pick their sorry ass up is 'uh appuhl' *crossed eyes*. Or when you just need to cry because its so hard to say goodbye, she is there to tell you that its ok to cry and let you know that life will get better.
There are just so many things about Lauren that make her such "swankified" person, that I have only hit the tip of the iceberg. There is so much more to her and anyone who knows her knows what I am talking about. And if you don't know her, I hope that God grants you the gift to get to meet her some day. He truly has blessed me with her as a best friend.
Lauren, I want you to know that you really mean so much to me and many more people out there. Without your friendship, I would be lost, and so I will hold onto it until the day I die. I know that times are low and you feel alone, and I know that there will be time that I won't be able to help you like I want to, but I promise that whether its a guy or some change in life that is getting you down, I will always be here for you when you need me. That will never change. You have become so much more than a friend. You are like a sister to me and I wouldn't want to change anything we have for the world. Whether we are both rich and famous celebrating our birthdays at the Chuck-E-Cheese that I have rented out or we are 2 spinsters getting old in our 'feline shrine', just remember I love you and its just you and I defying gravity.

2005-06-25T23:21:00.000-07:00

Ok so there is quite a bit that I would like to say right now but unfortunately I am way too tired to post. Yes it has to deal with life and love and guys. . . whats new? I will post soon and explain but for now I will just say life is throwing me some curves. Anyways, I am going to bed so g'night y'all!

Here's some lyrics stuck in my head because I have been hearing this song alot lately.

I don’t wanna be lonely no more
I don’t wanna have to pay for this
I don’t want another lover at my door
It’s just another heartache on my list
I don’t wanna be angry no more
You do know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me, know for sure
I don’t wanna be lonely anymore
~ Lonely No More Rob Thomas

2005-06-02T11:27:00.000-07:00

Ok so I made it through my first day of training okay. Thank God! But that was a day. Tonight I have to train on a closing shift so that should be interesting! I hope that I do ok. I am slowly but surely adapting to work. I guess it would be easier if I knew more people instead of just Lau and Beth Ann but thats just not the case. I am trying to get to know people but its just not easy because they've all known each other for a bit. I kinda feel like an alien. At least back in E-ville I knew people and I felt like I belonged. I know it will eventually get better here once I get to know people and they get to know me. I just hate the long process. I miss my family and friends, especially my guy friends. I miss the hugs I get from them that made me feel special. Lau is very lucky to have friends in both places. I am glad that she has them though because she is very happy. I am happy too because I at least have her by my side to help me adjust. Thanks Lau! Anyways, I am gonna go take a shower so I will post later. Have a good day y'all!

Sometimes the only way is jumpin'
I hope you're not afraid of heights.
~Gavin DeGraw Meaning

2005-05-31T09:25:00.000-07:00

God help me! Please pray for me! I am training today to be a server at the Tap House and I am scared out of my mind! I don't know the person that is training me, one of the managers intimidates me, and its a wing day so I am afraid its gonna be busy!!! Lauren keeps telling me its gonna be ok (she trained yesterday) but I am still worried! Well, here goes nothing! I'll try to post if I make it through the day alive!

2005-05-28T10:18:00.000-07:00

I don't have a whole lot of time to post so I will try to make this brief. Not much is really happening anyways. I am having fun in Colorado. Been busy with stage managing "I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change." Its going pretty well - even though Lau and I feel like we are having to take charge of the entire production. Oh well. I started hostessing at the Tap House yesterday. It was pretty easy but it was a slow night so go figure. I also had Lau there to help me get comfortable. Thanks hun! Today however we are on separate shifts and I am a little nervous. I don't want to mess up and I still don't know people very well. I just hope that people like me. Tuesday I start wait training so that should be interesting. Let's see. Outside of work not a whole lot has been happening. Lau and I have just been chilling. I love it here so far but I also miss home and the people back there - my family & my friends. I do hear from some of them. I hear from my family and then I have heard from my friends Brian and James, and then there are some that I haven't heard from. It really no longer surprises me. Anyways, well I gotta go! Hope everyone is having a great summer! Bye y'all!

2005-05-24T20:59:00.000-07:00

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

2005-05-17T10:55:00.000-07:00

Sorry everyone. I know it has been forever since I have posted but I just haven't had time. But now since Lauren has picked on me about it, I am trying to start up again! So whats new in my life? Hmm. . . well lets start with the big one. . . I AM IN COLORADO! Yes I am spending my summer with Lauren and her mom in Steamboat Springs and I am loving it so far! Its so cute here. . .and yes Lauren, QUAINT! LOL I am going to be working at the Tap House to make some money as well as working on a production of "I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change" as an understudy and stage manager! So I will be quite busy. Still no boys in my life. Still hoping that "he" will realize that he cares for me as much as I do him. Unfortunately, I haven't heard from him and I am thinking he is forgetting about me like he said he wouldn't. Ugh. However, Lauren and I did get free ice cream from a very cute boy and there was a very cute guy working at the medical office that was talking to us, so I guess that helps. . . a little. Anyways, Lau has a new guy which is exciting for her. I approve. But she hasn't heard from him in a few days and she is starting to worry. Its probably nothing like I keep telling her but she and I both know that I would be the same way if it were me. It will all be good though! Other than that, not a whole lot is going on. I hope everyone is enjoying the summer like I am! Well its time to enjoy another beautiful day in Steamboat! Later y'all!

2005-03-30T21:11:00.000-08:00

Yes ladies and gentlemen, I am now "legal." I have turned 21! I am another year older. . . and another year lonelier. It really never fails I guess. I don't really understand where I am going wrong. I think I am just as good a catch as any other girl out there. I may not be the "Pretty Perfect Girl" but I am still pretty damn good! Every once in a while I have guys like me but just not the guys that I really want, and I can't lie to myself and pretend that I can just accept what is right there. I just can't. It doesn't work that way. I wish that things were different, but I can't make my heart feel something for someone it doesn't and make it stop feeling something for someone it does. I am tired of being that girl who is wonderful, pretty, fun, smart, etc. . . but just "the friend." I want to be the girl who is all those compliments and good enough to be more than a friend! I am tired of being the one who has to hear how some pretty perfect girl has broken the guy's heart and has to be the "good friend" and help out while breaking my own heart in the process. I am tired of having to watch some other girl get what I want when she doesn't deserve even an ounce of it. I am just tired! When is that guy for me realize that he needs to take the risk and climb to the top of the tree to get this perfect apple? When is that guy going to get to this hidden X-mas gift? Sleeping Beauty is ready for Prince Charming to wake her up from this nightmare! I know this is probably sounding pathetic and stupid but if I can't just let my feelings out here, what can I do? Go ahead and ridicule me for making this too personal or whatever. I have had to go through far worse! Ok I think that is enough! I hope y'all have a good night. I am going to try to.

2005-03-19T12:04:00.000-08:00

Sorry y'all. Its been a while since I posted. Life has been crazy hectic. I have had classes, rehearsals, then Spring Break (which I didn't do anything special for), and then unfortunately my uncle passed away which hit me and my family really hard. But we are getting through it step by step. Thanks to all my wonderful friends who were there to help me through. In other family news, with the loss of one came the addition of another. Friday morning, my cousin (pretty much my sister) Mandi gave birth to a 8lb 14oz 22in beautiful baby girl named Casandra Rose! I left after my 11 o'clock class Friday and spent the entire afternoon with her. It was awesome! She is so adorable. Technically she is my cousin but we've decided I am pretty much another auntie. LOL I love it! In a few more months I will be an unofficial "auntie" again bc my other cousin, Mandi's sister Heidi, is going to have a baby girl who I think she is going to name Alicia Diane if I remember correctly. Its amazing! Anyways, not much else going on right now. Just getting by. . . being me. . .you know. Well hope everyone enjoys the beautiful day today! Later y'all!

2005-03-05T20:10:00.000-08:00

Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
But I'm not that girl.
Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I'm not that girl
Ev'ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in
Blithe smile, lithe limb
She who's winsome, she wins him
Gold hair with gentle curl
That's the girl he chose
And heaven knows
I'm not that girl...
Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and pearl
There's a girl I know
He loves her so
I'm not that girl...

2005-03-01T00:36:00.000-08:00

Um. . . yeah . . . a few days since my last post. . . lots happening. . . lots to say. . . don't know how to. . . life is so damn confusing. . . anyways its late and I have to work in 6 hours. . . Love y'all and goodnight!

2005-02-22T17:10:00.000-08:00

The Song of the Day that is stuck in my head:

Just Friends Gavin DeGraw

I saw you there last night
Standing in the dark
You were acting so in love
With your hand upon his heart

But you were just friends
At least that’s what you said
Now I know better from his fingers in your hair
I forgive you for what you’ve done
If you say that I’m the one

I’ve had other options too
But all I want is you
Girl your body fits me like a glove
And you shower me with words of love

And you were just friends
At least that’s what you said
Now I know better from his fingers in your hair
I forgive you for what you’ve done
If you say that I’m the one

It’s not my style to lay it in on the line
But you don’t leave me with a choice this time
Why weren’t you true?
You know I trusted you

When you were just friends
At least that’s what you said
Now I know better from his fingers in your hair
I forgive you for what you’ve done
If you say that I’m the one

You were just friends
At least that’s what you said
Now I know better from his fingers in your hair
I forgive you for what you’ve done
If you say that I’m the one

I’ll forgive you for what you’ve done
If you say that I’m the one

I’ll forgive you for what you’ve done
If you say that I’m the one

I’ll forgive you

2005-02-18T10:45:00.000-08:00

I love my Lauren for posting things like this quote on away messages:

"Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it's comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you're very lucky, a plane ride away."

This Charlotte loves her Carrie!

2005-02-18T06:38:00.000-08:00

Just a little weird and random that this is my horoscope for the day:

You might have initiated so many things yesterday that now you need to put some of your attention toward cleaning up after yourself. If so, don't waste energy today being too self-critical. What's done is done. Anyhow, you may be better off in the long run by getting issues out into the open, even if feathers are ruffled in the process. Finish up old business before starting what's next.

2005-02-14T10:12:00.000-08:00

Good List/ Bad List:

Good: I got Ronnette (aka: a Doo-Wop girl in LSH)

Bad: It's Valentine's Day!

Good: The AFC won Pro-Bowl and Peyton Manning was named its MVP!

Bad: It's Valentine's Day!

Good: I had a great weekend with friends and family!

Bad: It's Valentine's Day!

Good: Less than 6 weeks until I turn 21!

Bad: Oh I got one. . . how about. . . IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

In case you didn't catch on, I really dislike Valentine's Day because it is just another day that I get to be reminded that I am SINGLE! To remind me of that, my sister Jade's bf Javier gave me a gag valentine - one of those "Grow-a-lover" kits where u put this little plastic doll in water and in about 3 hours its the size of a barbie doll. HAHA VERY FUNNY! On the plus side, my parents love me and decided to give me some $ as my valentine. YAY! Anywho, I have class in about 40 minutes so I am gonna just later y'all and for those who care. . . (trying to be as sincere as possible) Happy Valentine's Day!

2005-02-12T01:43:00.000-08:00

Ok so I am fully aware that it is 3:45 in the morning of Sat Feb . . . um actually I don't know the date bc I suck at pinpointing the exact date. . . I have to have a calender that I can see and unfortunately that is not accessible to me right now. Anyways, as you can prolly tell, I am a bit tipsy right now. I had a fun night which is really cool. Unfortunately my girl Lauren didn't really feel like getting crazy with me but I respect her for that and I know that she is doing what is best for her and I love her for it. For me, I felt there was some reason for me to get tipsy tonight and just have fun letting loose. I guess it was me just getting rid of the loopy day that I have had. I have been kinda sick which sucks but oh well. But the major part has been finding out about LSH casting. I fortunately got a Doo-Wop girl which is exactly what I wanted but unfortunately my best friend got ripped off, and so while being totally stoked for myself, I can't fully enjoy it bc I know its incomplete without my girl sharing in the enjoyment of getting a part that she totally deserved. In the end though, I know that she is gonna show the world exactly what she is made of, and she is going to blow everyone away! Plus , she has the love of a really great guy (which I found out tonight). You know who you are and you better take care of her. . . but I know you will. I got to see The Wedding Date tonight. It was really good. I want it when it comes out on DVD. The downer of it all was that I felt like the 5th wheel bc I went with 2 couples and then there was me. I know I was told not to feel that way but its kinda unavoidable in that situation. But I am still happy for the couples. Anyways, the movie totally felt like my life. I AM Debra Messing in that film! I can't fully explain but if you know me well enough. . . you understand. Hopefully though, my life will turn out with a happy ending like that. I know I am a PAL (Pretty, Average Lady) but even we deserve some happiness in our lives! Anyways, I am going to bed now where I can at least be a pretty, perfect girl in my dreams. G'night y'all!

2005-02-07T20:00:00.000-08:00

So more time has come and gone. Not a whole lot has been happening. Class has been fine. My personal life with guys hasn't been too eventful but at least I have really fantastic friends! This weekend was pretty good. Friday, I went to Hacienda with the Lauren, Karolyn, Dan, Tracy, Leslie, and Megan to celebrate Megan's birthday, and then the same group plus Wags went to the TKE house and partied. Lauren and I were DDs so we didn't really "party." We had a pretty good time. I kinda wished that I had gone to Jim's party bc I apparently missed a good time and I knew more people there but oh well. I still had fun, and I can make it up to my theatre people opening night of Antigone. Then Saturday, Lau and I went to brunch with the group. (Sorry about the seating arrangement Lauren!) Then we had to work the Antigone load-in, but it wasn't as bad as we thought it was gonna be. I actually had alot of fun! It was interesting (Lauren you understand) but a fun time nonetheless. That night Lauren and I went to the hockey game where we watched the USI Eagles kick U0f L's ass 16-1. YAY! After that the 2 of us met up with Luke and the 3 of us went to Owensboro (despite the minor travel set-back) to The Cage to meet up with the rest of the group. It wasn't too bad. It would've been nice to have a guy to dance with but hey its all good. Kar won a thong contest! It was great bc she actually did it with class unlike some of the girls who prolly have promising careers in pornography ahead of them. Anyways, it ended up causing some drama but f*** the guy who thinks he can pull that shit and not expect his actions to be the cause of his own misery. Anyways, the ride back was alot quicker (even though now Lauren and I are prolly going to hell for making fun of some church signs - oops.) The most interesting moment of the night, however, happened once I got back from the club. Tired and ready to hit the sack, I walk into the apt thinking that I was going to get collapse in my bed. Imagine my surprise as I walk into the room and discover Katie with a guy. No its not like that! They were just watching Shrek 2 - ok they weren't just watching. They were cuddling too. However innocent though it still took me by surprise. I ended up going out into the living room and fell asleep on the couch until they woke me up and told me I could go to bed. Come to find out the next morning, they had made out and he stayed until 5 in the morning. Oh and by the way, this was a guy that Katie had just met the night before at a friend's apt! Kudos Katie! I feel so proud! LOL At least someone's having luck with guys this weekend. Speaking of which, Lauren, I wanna quit too! Then the day of disappointment came. . . Super Bowl Sunday. I wasn't getting to watch my beloved Colts but 2 teams that I really don't care about - Patriots and Eagles. As I predicted, Patriots won but my enjoyment was found when Tom Brady did NOT win the MVP award! YAY! And thankfully my Lauren agrees with me on that one. Today was full of stress! I had my auditions for Little Shop of Horrors. It actually went pretty well, but I am still worried bc I really would like to be cast but bc of so many talented people auditioning, I don't know if I will. He did ask me about my hair - how I felt about cutting it. I said I don't have a problem with it. He then asked how I felt about a bob cut. I said I was slightly iffy just bc I have had a bob before and it didn't look good on me but that I wasn't closed to the idea. He proceeded in asking what was comfortable to which I responded "shoulder-lengthed." Basically I let him know though that if it was in order to get the part, I would be open to any haircut. My mom however won't be quite as open as I will but she'll get over it. It's my hair - just hair - and it will grow back. I don't know. We'll just see what happens. Anyways, good luck to everyone auditioning! Y'all will be fabulous! Other than that, I really don't have too much else to tell so I will just say g'night y'all.

2005-01-30T01:30:00.000-08:00

Things that have crossed my mind in the past 24 hours:

1) Hockey is now my second favorite sport. (This guy is twice my size. . . uh! Right Lauren? ; P )
2) In 8 weeks I will be 21! (I think I might throw myself a party. Is it possible to throw your own surprise party?)
3) LSH auditions are coming up. . . I'm a little nervous.
4) I love my friends and family!
5) I love college but sometimes I just wish it were done with.
6) The thought of backpacking through Europe is a pretty frequent thought lately and I think I am really going to do it once I graduate. Anyone wanna come with?
7) Being lonely hurts. (Oh well. . . life goes on)
8) Oh! I am not crazy. . . I did hear a dog barking and whimpering in the building somewhere. (I thought when I heard it a couple days ago that I was just going nuts and hearing things. . . but I'm not!)
9) I need a job. . .badly.

Well, those are the extent of my thoughts right now. I am rather tired and don't feel like thinking anymore. G'night y'all!

2005-01-26T16:47:00.000-08:00

I've been called a wet beaver and an 18-wheeler this week! LOL Thanks Lauren & Scott, and John!

2005-01-23T16:52:00.000-08:00

So it's been awhile since I posted. In fact, it's been since Christmas break. Not too much has happened. Started classes. It's gonna be another crazy semester but thankfully Lauren is in 3 of my classes! YAY! I love me some Glinda (who has happily found her Fiyero/cowboy!) Dance class is going to kill me. My mama says I am going to feel so much better about myself at the end of the semester. I hope so. Death yoga, right Lauren? For the most part, classes seem to be ok.

So, I finally got to see Finding Neverland! It was such an amazing movie! Johnny Depp is a phenomenal actor! Yes I cried but it was well deserving of it! Definitely a dvd that I am gonna have to get when it comes out! I still want to see Phantom of the Opera bc I love that show and I want to see if the movie does it justice! I really really want to see In Good Company too! I LOVE Topher Grace and I've heard nothing but good things about the movie!!!

I have actually gotten to go out and do some things already this semester! Katie and I have been over to our neighbors and partied with them a couple times! Thats been a blast bc our neighbors are really hot and they're pretty cool. Plus its been kinda humorous especially Katie getting hit on by a really cute guy who was drunk and come to find out he's a senior in high school and she's a senior in college. LOL Good times over there. On top of that, Lauren and I have been able to hang out alot more already. We've been bowling which is definitely not my forte but its still fun with everyone! Then Lauren took me to my first USI Ice Eagles hockey game! I think its my fave sport next to football! So much action and humor in the game! This little frosh named Millenbaugh, who is smaller than I am, beat the hell out of an opposing player and sent him to the hospital bc he had a cut on his cheek, above his eye, and his eye was swollen shut! Needless to say the little guy was thrown out of the game but not before the whole crowd cheered him on and the captain gave him a huge hug! Speaking of which, the captain who is Matt Hoon (sp?) is incredibly hot! Gotta love hot athletes stretching! ;P The humor of this all comes in when a certain idiot who calls himself a hockey player falls flat on his face. . . more than once! I think Lauren said it best - "His Indian name should be 'He Who Needs to Learn to Skate.'

Hmm. What else? Oh. I went to my cousin Abby's wedding this weekend bc Jaz and I had to sing along with Abby's cousin from her dad's side who I don't like but oh well. Anyways, I hate weddings bc they can be so depressing for singles like me but even so it was still beautiful. Abby did an amazing job with what she had. Her dress was beautiful as were the bridesmaids dresses. The flower girls, who was their daughters Mia and Sophia, looked adorable with little dresses that had rose petals sewn in between the layers of lace. It was so cute too. As they walked down the aisle with Hugo, Sophia saw Jaz and I sitting up front by the piano and she started waving at us and blew kisses at us. It was so adorable and she got some of the congregation laughing. The reception was really nice too. They had it at the Mavris Cultural Center which is being turned into an art gallery so it had some wonderful artwork. They had a small drink bar run by a very cute bartender. Gotta love White Zinfadel and Cap'n & Coke! LOL The way the did the cake was really cool too. Abby and Hugo had a small wedding cake at their table and in order for everyone to join in the cutting of the cake, they had small cakes at each table that were all a different flavor. They had vanilla with chocolate filling, vanilla with strawberry filling, carrot cake, caramel apple cake, red velvet cake, butter pecan, etc. People got to go around and try each different one if they wanted to. I think I wanna do something like that at my wedding. I also want to have a fountain that pours chocolate and around it there is dishes of pineapple, strawberries, pretzels, and anything else you can dip in chocolate. That idea came from my 2nd cousin's wedding. Of course these are just ideas if I ever get married which doesn't look to be anytime soon! LOL It was a pretty good time at the wedding though.

Anyways, I think I have pretty much updated everything so I will just leave it at that and say g'night y'all!

2005-01-04T11:56:00.000-08:00

Well, this is it. The last week of Christmas break. I haven't decided which day I am going back to USI, but I can't wait bc I miss my friends (especially my girls)! I love home and my family but I can only take so much of being stuck in Jasper. Anyways, for those who follow, I went out with Josh (the blind date). It was ok but he just wasn't for me. I wasn't exactly impressed by him. Call me old-fashioned but he could've been more of a gentleman, and on top of that, he was boring. Ok those girls who have told me before that they think certain guys that I have liked (one in particular) were boring. . . think that 100 x over and thats how boring this guy was. LOL Mean of me, yes, but oh so true. Oh well, the hunt for Prince Charming continues. Speaking of which, congrats Lauren on getting your wish! I am so happy for you hun! I can't wait to hear all about it! I really can't wait to see everyone! I hope everyone had a good New Year and a good break altogether. Anyways, I am going to go exercise with my mom. We started our diets and we're hoping it will do us some good. Well talk to y'all later. Buhbye.

2004-12-30T11:32:00.000-08:00

A little less than 36 hours until the New Year! Wow 2004 has gone fast! Hope everyone has a good New Year's Eve. I really have no idea what I am going to do. I'll prolly end up staying at home bc I think my parents are having a little gettogether and seeing as I don't have anyone around here to chill with, looks like I will be joining in on their fun. Oh well, hopefully I won't be sick like last year with a fever of 102 degrees. yuck.
We got a dvd in the mail from my cousin (technically 2nd cousin) Luke from California who is my age and lives in LA where he goes to school and does random modeling /acting jobs. Anyways, the dvd was his Christmas special that he made. He just randomly sang Christmas songs including one that he wrote. We couldn't stop laughing he was so funny. My aunt says he reminds her of Adam Sandler but I think he reminds of Jimmy Fallon on SNL when he sings his parodies - especially when he sang the song that he wrote bc it was a parody on Maroon 5's She Will Be Loved. Too funny. He's such a goofball. I will have to admit he does look pretty good though. Sorry girls, I am not sure if he's single or not but maybe I will bring the dvd back to school so y'all can see him.
Speaking of guys, I have a lunch date with Josh (blind date guy). It's the first so we'll see how it goes. I'll keep ya posted. Hopefully things will go ok especially compared to the way the last guy turned out. I am not expecting much - at least a new friend. Anyways, I better get going. Talk to y'all soon!

2004-12-26T20:50:00.000-08:00

Words cannot describe how much I love my family right now! I had a wonderful Christmas (despite the ungodly amount of snow)! I still haven't had Christmas with my mom's side of the family but I pretty much know what I will be getting from there. My parents are amazing! They got me gift cards to get new clothes (of course which I need), the Wicked karaoke cd, the Wicked vocals book( both which I can't wait to put to use), the book He's Just Not That Into You(definitely handy right now), a pink and white tweed jacket (the exact one that I had asked for back in Sept. I am glad they remembered), a pair of Indianapolis Colts pj pants, a Colts sock hat, a Colts baseball cap(BIG COLTS FAN here for those of you who don't know), and a cd player for my car (finally! no more messing around with my cd/tape adapter to get it to work)!!! I am so happy but what makes it even better is that my parents and my aunt and uncle on my dad's side surprised me a little before Christmas with tickets to the Colts/Chargers game which was today! So last night Dad and I drove up to Indy and stayed with my aunt and uncle, and then the 4 of us plus my cousin and his wife went to the game today where I got to witness one of the best games this season and one that will definitely go down in history! Peyton Manning broke Dan Marino's record for most TD passes in a single season with his 48th and 49th passes today! He completed the 49th with Brandon Stokely as the receiver which made for Stokely's 10th TD reception of the season, making him the 3rd Colts receiver to have caught at least 10 TD passes this season with Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne. That trio made another NFL record! I am still smiling from the game! It was amazing! On top of that, we had incredible seats in the 20th row in the end zone, and before the game I could walk down like 10 steps and I was at the railing and was 20 ft away from the players warming up! Brandon Stokely has a nice ass from that view, by the way! LOL ; P I couldn't have asked for a better game to see! My legs are a little tired from jumping up and down and my voice is definitely hoarse from all the screaming, but it was well worth it! I got to see Peyton Manning and the Colts play a historical game! Ok, before I get all crazy again, I had better say g'night y'all! Hope everyone had a spectacular Christmas!

2004-12-23T20:14:00.000-08:00

Well, its officially nuts around here. Not really going to get into details. It happens every year with my mom's family and it sucks bc then my mom gets upset for the holidays. Sometimes I just wish we would go away for Christmas and just me, my parents, and my sisters were vacationing somewhere and just spending a nice relaxing Christmas with one another. Oh well, like thats gonna happen. My sisters are watching Chicago right now and trying to explain to Javier how we are related by marriage to the real "Roxie Hart" aka Beulah Annan. Probably the only really interesting person we are related to. Anyways, I am freezing right now so I am gonna go and wrap up in my nice warm comforter and prolly fall asleep. If I don't post before then. . . Merry Christmas Y'all!

Of all the Christmas songs that are out there, this is the one stuck in my head right now!
All I Want For Christmas Is You Mariah Carey
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
And I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you
I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
And I, I just wanna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for St. Nick
I won't even stay awake
To hear those magic reindeer click
Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding onto me so tight
What more can I do
Oh baby, all I want for Christmas is you
All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of childrens'
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won't you bring me
The one I really need
Won't you please bring my baby to me, quickly
I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just wanna see my baby
Standing right outside my door
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby, all I want for Christmas is you

2004-12-23T15:31:00.000-08:00

So much snow! I am going crazy! Thank God for my parents buying me alcohol. LOL No it's not that bad. . . it just is a mad house when you are snowed in with your parents, 3 sisters, one cousin, and a sister's bf. If I had a boy to cuddle up to then it wouldn't be so bad, but as it is, I don't. Oh well I'll just cuddle up to my wine. My family on the other hand is in the middle of a debate about whether or not we should make the trip to Newburgh for Christmas Eve with my mom's family. As it is right now, we don't have a choice bc I-64 is closed, but they're saying that it should be open tomorrow. I don't care either way. Not that I don't love my family, but whatever is going to be best is fine with me. I just hope that roads are cleared by the time Sunday rolls around bc I do not want to miss the Colts game! : ) I'll give the snow this - it is pretty out here in the country. I can see the sun setting out my window and the light across the shimmering white snow is gorgeous. Really not a whole lot is happening but I figured I'd post bc I am not doing anything else. Anyways, with nothing more to say, I had better go get ready for dinner. Hope y'all have a Merry Christmas!

2004-12-22T23:20:00.000-08:00

CAMILLE
C	is for	Clever
A	is for	Athletic
M	is for	Mesmerizing
I	is for	Impassioned
L	is for	Legendary
L	is for	Lovable
E	is for	Energetic

What Does Your Name Mean?

2004-12-20T14:36:00.000-08:00

It's absolutely amazing how quickly things can change. Life has been made a little easier (if I want to look at it in an optimistic way). I apparently was not the EXTRA good girl that we thought I was this year Lauren. Santa has taken it down to one boy now. I am really not surprised that it was this boy either. Oh well good riddens. I know I have my choir boys to take care of me.

2004-12-20T09:46:00.000-08:00

Oh it feels great to be home right now! I've been home a few days now and its been quite relaxing. Friday I went to Applebee's with the family and met Josh (the boy that my mimi and aunt are trying to set me up with). My sister Jade acted like an idiot in front of him but thats just Jade. She is a goofball. While at Applebee's, I got a call from the other boy (who hasn't called me since and I don't know whether to call him or not even though he said he would call me - ugh).
Saturday was our traditional X-mas get-together with Jeff and Shirley (long time family friends). It was good times. They got me a 3/4 sleeve pink and white baseball style shirt that said Colts on it and had the Colts emblem. It made me very happy. Now I don't know whether to wear that or my Manning jersey to the game on Sunday. Thats right, I get to go to the Colt/Chargers game with my dad the day after Christmas, and I am SO EXCITED! Even more so now bc I could very well be at the game that Peyton Manning breaks Dan Marino's record for most TD passes in a single season! YAY!!! Anyways, back to Saturday, I learned how to play Texas Hold 'Em and lost my very first $5 in gambling. Hey I did pretty good though. I was one of the last 2 in out of 5 playing. LOL
Yesterday was pretty much a lazy day. I didn't do a whole lot. But I did play Euchre with my parents and Jeff, and Dad and I broke Mom and Jeff's winning streak finally! After that it was basically just a tv night and Dad and I watched the Colts/Ravens game on tv which Colts won!
Today, I am all by myself bc my sisters still have 3 days of school, Dad's at work, and because she is off this week, Mom went to E-ville for the day to finalize Christmas shopping. Oh well I guess its rest and relaxation for me (unless someone calls me). Well have a good day y'all bc I am outta here. 5 more days til Christmas!

2004-12-12T20:41:00.000-08:00

Finals week. . . most dreaded week of the semester and yet the most anticipated. So much to study for and stress out about but after its all done its time for Christmas Break! 3 weeks of not having to worry about another scene or paper or test! YAY! Now if I can just survive the week. I have a final everyday but Wednesday.
Monday - College Algebra
Tuesday - Acting IV
Thursday - Musical Theatre
Friday - Archaeology
Granted 2 of my finals aren't actual written finals but still they're enough to stress me out. I still have to score my script for Acting IV and I have yet to start on my research paper for Musical Theatre. . . boy am I a procrastinator! On top of that I have to actually study for the other 2 finals. I spent 3 hours studying for my College Algebra exam! I had better get a good grade on it! I imagine I'll be doing the same if not more for my Archaeology final. How exhausting! i am just ready for this week to be over with.

Ok update on other life. This weekend I went on my first real date in, well, lets just say quite some time. It was really rather nice. He was a complete gentleman - I almost forgot what those were. Anyways, he picked me up @ 6:30 with a long stemmed red rose in hand - very nice touch. We went to eat @ Logans and then we went to see Oceans 12 (good movie). He wanted to take me for a walk down by the lights and stuff but we decided it was way to cold for that. All in all, it was really nice. Remember it was just a date though. There's nothing major going on just yet. There may not be at all. Thats something I will have to decide with time. I am very cautious anymore when it comes to dating due to alot of things. Just give me time. Plus, I still have that blind date that I have to go on. I finally got to see a picture of him so its not completely blind now. Pretty good looking. But looks aren't everything. We'll just have to see. It's just weird to have to deal with this bc I am used to not having anyone and now I have 2 potentials. Anyone know the saying "When it rains it pours" ?

Anyways, I am rather tired now and I do have a 9 o'clock final in the morning, so I best be getting to bed. G'night y'all and if I don't get to talk to some of you, have a good break and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

2004-12-06T17:20:00.000-08:00

Oh boy. . . the shit has pretty well just hit the fan! Life just can't be simple for me. . . it has to be throwing curves and making me crazy when I should be excited! I really can't explain it all right now but boy do I have to figure some things out. I could really use a little guardian angel to tell me what to do. Ugh. Well that's all I have to say for now. I have to get ready for a rehearsal for my Acting IV class. Have a g'night y'all!

2004-12-04T13:18:00.000-08:00

LIFE IS SO RANDOM!

2004-12-01T20:59:00.000-08:00

All I can do is just laugh right now. I sometimes don't understand life. No, this is not one of those depressing pity trip blog entries. It just amazes me the way things go sometimes. Some people think that there is something going on between me and a friend, but there isn't. Yes we flirt. . . yes major sometimes. No nothing has happened. And I wouldn't let anything happen bc he has a gf. I am not like that. On top of being misleading with that, I apparently am being set up on a date by my aunt and my mimi. Do they think I am incapable of not finding a guy for myself? I don;'t want an answer. Anyways, my aunt tells me the guy just turned 24. He bartends at Applebees in Jasper where she works and he goes to school at VUJC - I don't know what for. He has dark hair and according to her, he's cute and sweet. How did this all start? Well, apparently Josh (that's his name) saw a picture of me, several pics in fact, and wants to meet me. Now my aunt and my mimi are "planning a dinner".I don't know what to think. I would like to meet a cute, sweet guy, but blind dates just make me nervous. Maybe they'll just forget about this. Of course then my luck he will be this amazing guy that I never met and . . . oh good grief. I am switching topics bc this is just going to make me crazy! LOL

In other news, yesterday was Erin's birthday and so a bunch of we wonderful theatre folk went to Iwataya (who knows if I spelled it right) a Japanese restaurant. It was amazing. . . aside of the fact that it was expensive. Lauren and I split a chicken teriyaki dish w/ a pork appetizer called Yakigyoza. Mmmm so good. I also tried some new sushi. . . good as well. We also had red bean ice cream that they served for Erin's b-day. . . surprisingly yummy. We had good laughs too. Natalie ate a bunch of wasabi with a rice "chaser" and we just started laughing hysterically about it. It was just a great night with great company! And Thursday, a week from tomorrow, we're going to have a girls night. I can't wait bc we're gonna have more fun. Yay!

Madrigals start tomorrow! I am excited. I love my costume. I would love to have lived in the Medieval Period just to be able to dress like that everyday. Nevermind the fact that they really didn't bathe. . . lol. Ok I couldn't deal with that. I have to have my hot shower. But at least I get this weekend to dress like that. It should be a good time. Oh brother, I need to get my Secret Santa gifts! I prolly ought to remember that. LOL

Auditions for Antigone are on Monday. I am getting prepared and trying not to get my hopes up. I would love to be cast in this show, especially as Antigone, but I know how much talent I am up against. Oh well whatever happen happens. That's theatre.

Hmm. . . can't really think of too much else. I've pretty much updated everything up to this point. With that I think I am gonna get to bed so g'night y'all!

2004-11-25T16:40:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving to all my family and family! I love y'all! I am thankful everyday for people like you in my life!

Song of the Day Stuck in My Head

2004-11-24T14:33:00.000-08:00

Sometimes i give into sadness
Sometimes i don't
At times i'm part of the madness
Sometimes i won't give into you
You seen the way I've been drifting down a river to nowhere
And you give me nothing

But if your ready to be my everything
If your ready to see it through this time
If your ready for love then
This I will bring
But I'm not gonna wait for you forever
This time

At times i feel myself smiling
At times I'm not
Whats with thats guilt that your styling
Baby talk don't look good on you
You see the way i've been looking for a reason to go there
And you leadin' me nowhere

But if your ready to be my everything
If your ready to see it through this time
If your ready for love then
This I will bring
But I'm not gonna wait for you forever
This time

Are you waiting for a special occasion
To give me your heart
'Cause I need a little confirmation
To make a real start
Don't wait till it's too late
Are you ready to show me
Are you ready to love me

You see the way I have been drifting down a river to nowhere
And you give me nothing
But if your ready to be my everything
If your ready to see it through this time
If your ready for love then this i will bring
But iIm not gonna wait for you forever
This time

And if your ready to be
Ready to be my everything
And if your ready to see it through this time
If your ready for love
Then baby this i will bring
But i'm not gonna wait forever
This time

2004-11-22T10:33:00.000-08:00

Hello to all! It's been a few days since I last posted. Been busy with classes and box office. Fortunately for me, box office is done with bc we closed the show yesterday. Congrats to all involved on a great run! The good thing though is that this means that the semester is almost done. Only like 4 more weeks but that also includes Thanksgiving break and finals week so really only like 2 1/2 more weeks of official class. YAY! So ready for the holidays! Can't wait! I can't wait to go home this week for Thanksgiving. Yay for food but boo to the weight that will be gained from it! Oh well.

Anyways, Thursday I will be spending with my dad's side of the family which will be interesting considering not everyone gets along with everyone else . . .lol . . .but hey my family and I have learned to just separate ourselves from those that cause trouble. Luckily this year Colts will be playing the Lions in the NFL on Thanksgiving so if need be I will be in front of that tv. It will also be my escape from family when they start talking about engagements which will be a definite topic of conversation considering there are 3 official and 1 unofficial on that side of the family. Congrats to Jayme who got engaged this weekend, making the 3rd official next to Abby (whose bridal shower is on Friday) and Mandi. My cousin Mason has not officially proposed to his gf but we have been informed that it will be occurring soon.

The rest of my weekend will be spent decorating for Christmas (yay!) and catching some movies (yay again!). I love spending this time with my family and friends! I am hoping Finding Neverland will be at Jasper 8 this weekend so I can see that bc I want to so badly! I just want the next couple days to hurry up bc I want to get started for the holidays!

As far as this past weekend went, not a whole lot happened outside of the theatre. We had strike yesterday that lasted 4 hours. Yuck! I did get to go to the river at night with Lauren, Natalie, Melissa, Scott, Burgy, and Elliot this weekend. We just walked along it for a while and then hung out at Natalie's and listened to Scott play and sing some of the songs he wrote. Loved them! He should record by the way. I will buy the cd! LOL Lauren and I also decided we want to get a house and live in it for school and Scott and Elliot are going to live if not with us close to us! Yay for good times with great people! Yay for crazy people living closely in one vicinity! Wow I think I am in one of those crazy moods right now and I feel like I am rambling! Oh goodness! LOL

Anyways, I have madrigal set-up today and tomorrow. Ugh. Hopefully most of it will get done by tonight! Love madrigals just hate the process of set-up. Well, I think I am gonna wrap it up and chill for a bit before having to go to choir so later y'all!

2004-11-17T19:43:00.000-08:00

Haven't posted for a few days so I figured I would update. It's been same old same old with classes not too much else. Life outside has been more interesting. Monday night Lauren, Kim, Melissa, Erin, Adrien (I don't know if I spelled his name right at all), and I went to see Napolean Dynamite at the $2 theatre. It's the stupidest movie I have ever seen but bc it was stupid and so random it was soooo hilarious! We laughed through the entire movie and for a long time afterwards. In fact, all of us, minus Erin and Adrien and plus Elliot and Luke, went to Steak -n- Shake where we were still cracking up and got into some very interesting conversations *cough cough* Good times. Tuesday night was pretty normal. Just chilled around the apt and watched One Tree Hill with my roomies. Love that show. Today was a pretty good day and then I called my family and found out that my great uncle Mike died this morning. I was pretty close to him even though he was a great uncle and lived in Alabama. I only got to see him every few years when we went on vacation to Florida and stopped in Alabama for a couple days to see him and Aunt Doris. We knew it was coming but still its hard. I'm not going to get to go to the funeral bc its Friday in Alabama but my parents are so I pray God keeps them and my other family members safe as they travel to get there and God be with Uncle Mike may he rest in peace.
On that sad note, I am gonna curl up in my bed. G'night y'all!

2004-11-13T23:41:00.000-08:00

Ok so I am totally wired right now thanks to Lauren who bought me a "Milky Way" (coffee with chocolate and caramel syrup and whipped cream). . .LOL Thanks hun I really appreciate it! Anyways I ended up staying the entire time at the show tonight bc I waited for security to show up and pick up the money deposit and they never did! Fortunately it meant that I stayed to say hi to all my friends in the cast and crew and ended up going to Stoked with them! Good times! Another night of great company and lots of laughs! It gets interesting when you put me, Lauren, Erin, Melissa, Scott, Austin, Elliot, Nicole, Gennie, Blaire, and Slugger together with coffee involved! Tomorrow should be pretty good too. Lauren, Stephen, and I are supposed to go to brunch @ 11:30. We haven't all three gotten together in awhile so hopefully tomorrow can be a good start. Monday should be even better that is after classes are over with. Some of the girls and I are going to a movie. . . possibly dinner as well. It will be a good time. I am really happy right now bc even though I am without a guy my circle of friends is expanding and it feels great! I have gotten to know so many people this year and I wouldn't change any of the experience for the world! Anyways, I am gonna try and get some sleep! G'night y'all!

2004-11-13T00:36:00.000-08:00

"Life is a series of moments...to live each one is to succeed." -Lorita Kent
I really don't know why I have chosen to put this quote in my blog but something about it as I was looking through numerous quotes just seemed to grab me. Life has been just life to me but reading this kinda makes me feel that . . . well I can't explain it really.
Anyways, not a whole lot has been happening. I got a day off from classes thanks to assessment day on Tuesday. Wednesday was the opening of Playboys of the Western World which I am working box office for. It's a great show, great job, and hey I get paid! Yay for money! Since then thats how I have been spending my evenings. Days have been with classes. Not much new with them except that I am excited for Musical Theatre bc the next song I get to sing is "Memory" from Cats. I love that song. My mimi uses to haved a little musical figurine that would whistle that song and everytime I would got to visit her, she would play it for me. Aw, sentimental moment. Other than that class is class.
Tonight was a pretty good night though. Lauren and I went to Amanda's apt bc she had a little cast/crew party for the show. We shared a bottle of Arbor Mist (which is good stuff for just a casual drink. . . which is what we wanted . . . but not for getting drunk. . .which I am glad we didn't). We talked, had some laughs, danced (even with some strange guy that was Amanda's friend and kinda scared me a little), and just had a good time. I really needed to have a good time and I love you Lauren, by the way, for inviting me. I am so glad we finally got to have some hang out time, but lets not wait so long next time to do it again. Oh, and believe me I am going to remember our future travels.
Places that Lauren and I intend to travel to:
*London
*Paris
*Ireland
*Rome
*Australia
*New York (again. . .of course)
We WILL go to all this places someday!
But yeah, the party was fun! I love my theatre friends! Some just crack me up like Leo and Scott just to name a couple. The only thing bumming about the party was the couples that were all so cute. But I am not going to get into that because I have decided that I am not going to let things like that get to me. . . and I especially am not going to let guys get to me! Lauren and I both agree on this as one of our many toasts ; ) We are those apples at the top of the tree or those perfect gifts hidden under the X-mas tree.
Well, this whole time I have been keeping an eye on my roommate Haley who hurt her back today and who was in a great deal of pain when I got back tonight. I wanted to make sure that she was going to be ok, and now I think she has fallen back to sleep so I think I am going to head towards my bed now too. G'night y'all!

2004-11-08T18:27:00.000-08:00

This weekend is over sad to say but it was a great weekend. I went home and spent time with my family - not to mention I got fed really well lol. . . not like I need it. Anyways, Friday when I got home I talked a little with my parents a little then Dad, Jade, Javier, and I went to Los Bravos. Mmm. After that we went home and Dad kicked my butt in Monopoly. Saturday when I got up, Mom, Dad, and I went to the Schnitzelbank for lunch. Yum. Came back home after that and got revenge on Dad by beating him in another game of Monopoly. Later that evening, Mom and I decided to go see Alfie with Jude Law. We enjoyed it very much, but of course how can we not?! The movie could be the worst movie ever made and it would still be worth the $ just to see him. What can I say. . . HE'S HOT! Anyways, after the movie, we went to Walmart and got me some groceries for school. My parents love me. . .lol. Then Mom and I had dinner at Applebee's. Mmm again. We got home and Mom, Dad, and I watched the Shrek 2 dvd that we bought at Walmart. Good movie. Sunday, we slept in and then Dad and I went and played golf with Jeff (a family friend). The first time I played golf all year. Shot a 57. Not great but could've been worse. Anyways, I got home and my parents asked me when I was leaving and I said I didn't know and they were both like "well you know you can always drive back in the morning." So, I did. I wanted some extra time with my family and so thats what I got. All in all it was a very nice relaxing weekend. Because of it I had a good Monday. Classes weren't so stressful. Thats always nice. Well, anyways, not much else is going on here so I am gonna go and watch the Colts play some football. First time in 4 years that Indy has hosted Monday Night Football. Yay! Well, g'night y'all!

2004-11-06T13:53:00.000-08:00

Another week is gone. It's Saturday and I am sitting at home in Jasper finally able to breathe and relax. This week was kinda rough on me. I am fine now but I just put so much pressure on myself sometimes, and I think the stress from that and the weather changing just made me feel awful this week. Its all good now though. I made it through. Thanks to all my family and friends who helped me this week. I love y'all.
So there are a couple things actually happening in life - not directly to me but its news. My cousin Mandi found out she's going to have a baby girl! Cassandra Rose will be the next addition to the already predominately female Ruckriegel family! We thought for sure she would have a good chance at having a boy, but oh well we're still excited! I also found out that there is going to be an addition to our home. How can you think that my parents are gonna have another kid?! Yeah right we have enough as it is! No, my grandma will apparently be moving in with us. The family has been concerned about her bc she has been really unhappy lately, and everyone thinks that it'd be best to move her in with family. So naturally its our family. Part of our basement is going to be turned into a little apt for her that way she has her own little area but she will still be close to family. How do I feel about this? It came as a shock to me, but I guess its going to be a good thing for the most part. It's gonna be hard bc there's so many of us under one roof as it is- my parents, me, my 3 sisters, my cousin, and now my grandma- but I want whats best for my grandma and if that means having her here then so be it.
In other news, I went to Center Stage yesterday and picked out my Madrigal costume. It is so much prettier than last year's. I am really excited to wear it. Speaking of Madrigals, that time is approaching quickly. It's in a little more than 3 weeks!. Wow, time is flying! The next 2 weeks I'll be working box office for the next show @ the theatre, then the following week is Thanksgiving Break, then after that its Madrigals, and then wouldn't ya know we're almost to the end of the semester! Crazy! Anyways, as overwhelmed as I am by all of this, I am gonna go relax, maybe kick my dad's butt in Monopoly or MarioKarts, and then who knows what. Have a great weekend y'all!

Here are some lyrics that have been stuck in my head and for good reason. Enjoy it as I do:

I Don't Want to Be Gavin Degraw

I don’t need to be anything other than a prison guard’s son and

I don’t need to be anything other than a specialist’s son

I don’t have to be anyone other than a birth of two souls in one

Part of where I’m going is knowing where I’m coming from



(Chorus)I don’t want to be anything other than what I’ve been trying to be lately

All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind

I’m tired of looking ‘round rooms wondering what I gotta do

Or who I’m supposed to be

I don’t want to be anything other than me



I’m surrounded by liars everywhere I turn

I’m surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn

I’m surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn

Am I the only one to notice?

I can’t be the only one who’s learned

(Chorus)I don’t want to be anything other than what I’ve been trying to be lately

All I have to do is think about me and I have peace of mind

I’m tired of looking ‘round rooms wondering what I gotta do

Or who I’m supposed to be

I don’t want to be anything other than me



Can I have everyone’s attention please

See, not like this and that

You’re gonna have to leave

I came from the mountain, the crust of creation

My whole situation made from clay, dust, stone

And now I’m telling everybody

(Chorus)I don’t want to be anything other than what I’ve been trying to be lately

All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind

I’m tired of looking ‘round rooms wondering what I’m trying to do

Or who I’m supposed to be

I don’t want to be anything other than me

I don’t want to be

I don’t want to be

I don’t want to be

I don’t want to be

2004-11-01T18:10:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that the weekend went so fast! Friday night, I hung out with my roomies and we did a little partying of our own with the girls that live below us. I saw Stephen and Lauren while I was outside. It's so weird not seeing the Laramie people everyday. I really miss them. But like I've told myself before, it can also be a good thing that I don't get to see certain ones bc then I don't think about that one as much. I love how I am trying to be so secretive about this when I know that most of the people who read this know who I am talking about. Oh well.
Anyways, Saturday night, Katie and I went to a UE halloween frat party with Lucas and Rhonda. Lucas dressed up as Luigi, Rhonda as Little Bo Peep, Katie as a 40s girl, and I dressed up as a fairy. We had fun dancing and hanging out. We got to see the boys dance to Michael Jackson's Thriller. Quite hilarious. We ended up getting back at a decent time about 2am. Good times.
Sunday, I got to sleep in which was nice. I got up to watch the Colts game. Very disappointing. They lost to the KC Chiefs. It was the defense that lost it for us. But in their defense, KC is the #1 offensive line-up in the NFL. Manning had a pretty good game racking up nearly 500 yds in passing. The good news is that the Patriots finally lost one. Sorry Lauren. I know you love them but I can't help but be happy about it. Then @ 4, I was supposed to rehearse with Steve, Erin, and Kim for Acting IV but the Mallette wasn't unlocked and security wouldn't open it for us. So now I have to meet with them tonight after the PWW rehearsal. Ugh. After that waste of time, I went to Mandi's to study for Archaeology test. Another Ugh. The rest of the night was spent between studying and being goofy with my roomies. I smell my tea Haley! LOL n/m
I woke up this morning, got ready for class, and went to class pissed bc as I walked out of the apt I noticed egg shells on the ground. I turned and looked at the door to find that we got egged! Oh was I steaming after that! I am so damn glad to see that we have "mature" people on this campus!(<--meant to be said with an incredible amount of sarcasm) People need to f***ing grow up! Anyways, sat through another boring College Algebra class. Then I had to get a new student ID bc I lost mine. . . there goes another $10 that I could really use. Then I got to finish off my morning with an Archaeology test! Yippee. When I think I am prepared enough, she goes and makes a test consisting of stuff we weren't prepared for. I swear you could study for hours and still not know what the hell she is talking about on the test. I finally got to come back to the apt and take a nap to relax. Choir time finally came, and so I went to that. Nothing new. Sing. Have fun chilling with my choir ppl. After though, I had to stay for callbacks for Madrigal Feaste. I tried out for the Queen but I doubt I will get. Dan asked me afterwards if I was staying at USI next year. Random question I thought. The only reason I can explain is it that he isn't making me Queen and basically saying that there's always next year. If thats not the reason he asked that question then I am most certainly confused. Nothing new to me I guess. I am always confused about something anymore. Anyways that leads me up to this point. Me just chillin alone in the apt. Talked to my mom a bit. Nothing new there except Congratulations to Jade who made the Freshman Basketball team and congratulations to Arielle who made the 7th grade basketball team. I am proud of you girls.
Other than that not much is going on in my life. Same old as usual. . . classes . . . rehearsals. . . no guy. . . nothing new. Not bad just not good. . . It's just life. Anyways, I think I am gonna watch a movie while I wait for rehearsal time to come. Have a g'night y'all.

2004-10-29T22:34:00.000-07:00

All I have to say is that the following is so true:
"You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel."

2004-10-26T20:19:00.000-07:00

It's actually been a pretty good day. My Acting IV class seemed to be off to a rocky start bc I seemed to be getting more notes than other people, and it had me worried that I was terrible and that I didn't belong in the class. However, I was sitting down looking over the notes in the same room bc thats where I have Musical Theatre as well, and as Scott passed me by he gave me a pat on the back and told me that I was doing a good job and just to work on the things that he told me to but that I was doing nice work. That really took a big load off my shoulders. Up til that point, I was extremely worried about what Scott thought of me, but now I know a little. Anyways, then I had Musical Theatre, and I was extremely nervous bc I had to sing "Unxpected Song" which has a 2 octave range to it, and I had to hit a high G, which I can do but I just get very nervous bc I am not used to singing in my upper range. Well, I sang it, and I felt that I did pretty good. When I looked at John, he had a weird look on his face. He asked me how I felt about it and I told him. Then I asked him and all he said was that he would touch base. Once everyone finished their songs, John sat in front of us and went through the list one by one to give us notes. He got to me, still with the look on his face, and I just thought oh no. First words out of his mouth were "Rock on!" There was a definite sigh of relief. He basically told me that he was trying to challenge me and that I definitely rose to the occasion and that I should be proud of my work. A weight has definitely been lifted off my shoulders. After all that I had choir and I was in such a good mood that choir seemed fun to me. It's just been a cheerful day since, despite the rain. On top of that, its Tuesday so that means One Tree Hill was on. Gotta love seeing Chad Michael Murray! I just got a phone call from my friend Joey from VU. He is actually at Camp Atterbury bc he is being deployed in a couple weeks to Iraq. I might have mentioned that previously but oh well. Anyways, he was telling me that Family Day is Saturday from 3-9, and if I could it would be nice of me to come and visit. Ok I am not family but its nice that he considered asking me to come. I don't know where the place is but if I can figure it out, I just might go bc I prolly won't get to see him again before he is deployed.
Anyways, I worked out before this and now I am kinda tired so I am gonna finish watching the Cardinals' dreams of winning the World Series go down the drain, and then I am gonna hit the sack. G'night y'all and sweet dreams!

2004-10-25T20:27:00.000-07:00

Just finished working out in my living room. Hoping to get the body to get the guy. Not much going on today. Except for this morning when I got the shit scared out of me. So I left the apt at 10 til 9 today with Katie bc I was going to class and she was going to the gym. We were just walking along, talking about our weekends and about our mothers joking around with us bc we don't have bf's, and all of a sudden I feel someone grab my ass! My first thought was "omg some stranger just grabbed my ass as like a practical joke or something" because I never see anyone I know walking to class in the morning. I even screamed OMG while walking in the mass of students trying to get to class. Anyways, as I was turning I looked and saw Katie smiling and looking behind me. I turned all the way around and there was Stephen, laughing hysterically. i couldn't believe he did that. People were passing by just staring at me. I ended up laughing too. It was just very unexpected. But it was nice to see him and get to talk to him since I don't see him as much since Laramie closed. Other than that, not a whole lot has been going on. Just catching up on homework and relaxing. Speaking of which, I think I am gonna go and get to bed early. So g'night y'all and sweet dreams!

2004-10-24T21:21:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to post some lyrics from a song called Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts. . . bc it gives me hope that I am on the road thats finally going to lead me to that special someone. Hopefully my guy would feel the same way this song feels. . . Anyways enough sappiness. . . I will leave that to the song:

I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushin' through
I couldn't see how every sign, pointed straight to you

That every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there, you understand
It's all part of a grander plan, that is coming true

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Now I'm just rollin' home, into my lovers arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

2004-10-24T17:50:00.000-07:00

I can't believe the weekend is over already! Oh well it was nice while it lasted. I got to spend time with my parents and yes my sisters too (happy Jaz? LOL) It was just nice to be home and relax with people I love. I left home around 11 bc I had to be at school at 1 to rehearse another scene for Acting IV. After that I had to be at Old North Church @ 3 for a choir concert @ 4. That went well. Had some fun with the choir people. And now I am back here at the apt. . .just finished some dinner (Chinese - yum!). . . and now I am watching game 2 of the WS. Hopefully Cardinals will win bc I have already been disappointed once today with the Colts' loss against Jacksonville. I hope Rolen gets out of this slump he's in.
Moving on from sports, I went and saw Shall We Dance? with the family Sat night. It was pretty good. I love watching Richard Gere. The movie was really quite humorous. My dad even liked it! When we were leaving I saw James, a guy from Loogootee thats in choir with me, and he was seeing The Grudge with his g/f. He told me today it was terrible. Good thing I had no desire to see it. At least he had his g/f to see it with. I completely forget what its like to go to the movies on a date. How sad is that? Oh well, surely soon I will remember. My luck going to change soon. . . I hope. Maybe I will just move to LA and break up Jude Law and Sienna Miller and marry Jude! He is so hot! That sounds like a really good idea to me. LOL yeah right like thats gonna happen anytime soon. Its a nice thought though. OMG! I remembered something that my dad read to me out of this joke book that I thought the girls would enjoy to read.
A woman needs only 4 animals in her life: a minx on her back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bed, and a jackass to pay for it all!
I rather enjoy that little saying. LOL Anyways, I am gonna just shut up and say g'night y'all. Hope everyone has a good week!

2004-10-22T20:28:00.000-07:00

It has been a long day that I thought was never going to end. Got up this morning @ 7 to take a shower and get prepared for my theatre review. Went to my College Algebra class and took a quiz that wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. After that I actually went to my theatre review which wasn't quite what I expected bc only Elliott and Tommy were there as the faculty members. Scott was the one I was worried about as far as what he would have to say, but he had a doctor's appt. So we revised my resume, they told me good job so far, and that was it. In other words I once again stressed myself out for nothing. After the review, went to Archaeology and did my pottery lab, and got to see the pic of my cousin Mandi's ultrasound. The baby looks healthy. yay! I got back to my apt a little after 12. . . ate some lunch and decided to depress myself by watching A Cinderella Story again. . . then I got my stuff together, got ready, and went to the choir dress rehearsal (by the way if you aren't doing anything on Sunday... go to Old North Church on Stringtown Rd @ 4 for the Chamber Choir's fall concert. After all that I am finally home. It is good to see my parents... and my sisters but mainly my parents. Mom, Dad, Darrah, and I went to Applebee's for dinner. It was pretty good. We were going to go to a movie but we opted for the matinee tomorrow. We went to see my grandma in the hospital instead. She is doing well. Now after watching a little 20/20, I am at the comp.
Speaking of 20/20, they did a piece about the terrorist attack on an elementary school in Russia. It was absolutely heart-breaking. Why are people so sick?! Why do they feel the need to attack innocent little children?! They have traumatized these kids for life! It's amazing how some of them were able to survive. And its heart-wrenching how many didn't! 300+ didn't! The things that they did to these children... not allowing them water... holding them hostage... using a 21 month old as a shield while they are being shot at by the Russian soldiers! What on Earth is going on in their sick twisted minds that makes them think that they can commit such a horrendous act on humanity?!
Anyways I better stop talking about this before I put myself in tears. Well there really isn't much else to say, so I will just say g'night y'all and sweet dreams!

2004-10-21T19:24:00.000-07:00

I can't wait for this week to be over. It's just been one of those weeks. Classes are stressing me out, and I know its because it's midterm week, but I just thank God that tomorrow is Friday. Today I had the first half of my midterm in Musical Theatre, and we had to give an oral report on the song that John gave us to learn. My song is "Unexpected Song" from Song and Dance, and I had so much crazy info about it. It was insane bc of the way the show was created and everything. I think it went fine though. He seemed to be happy with my presentation. I just hope the second half of the midterm, which is to sing the song on Tuesday, goes well. I am also in the middle of learning more lines for A Midsummer Night's Dream. I just don't know what to think of how I am doing in that class. Scott keeps telling me I have a knack for the Shakespearean language, but yet I still get all kinds of notes telling me what I am not doing correctly. I know thats part of the learning process, but I sometimes feel like I am getting more of these notes than anyone else, and then I get all down bc I feel like I am not doing very well. I just don't know. I guess I will find out tomorrow what Scott thinks of me because he is one of the faculty members conducting my departmental review. Speaking of which, I am incredibly nervous. I know I shouldn't be because I have been through this before, but I feel like there is more pressure being that I have been in the dept awhile now. On top of all that, I have a math quiz tomorrow. Good times... not. If I can just make it through tomorrow then come 5pm, I will be on my way home! YAY!
I am in the middle of watching Game 7 of the NLCS (where Houston is beating St. Louis 2-1 at the top of the 6th... BOO) but its on commercial, and they just showed one for the 90s Edition of Trivial Pursuit. I want that game. I am a big Trivial Pursuit person, and I think I would rock at the 90s Edition! Very random of me, I know, but hey I am a random person. Anyways, I'm gonna wrap it up and try to relieve some stress. What I need is a guy to cuddle with and give me a back massage, but unfortunately I lack that special guy still. . . I guess a nice hot shower will have to do. Love y'all and goodnight!

2004-10-20T19:43:00.000-07:00

I should really be finishing up my research for Musical Theatre midterm, but instead I am taking a break. I found all my info. I just have to use it to answer the questions that are supposed to be answered in the report. Shouldn't take long at all. Of course after that I really should finish memorizing lines for A Midsummer Night's Dream for Acting IV and then I should work on my portfolio for my theatre review on Friday. But I really need a breather so I will stay calm and collected and not get stressed. So far its working. I watched the Cardinals beat the Astros, and now I am watching the Red Sox kick the Yankees asses.

My cousin Mandi scared the crap out of me today. She is pregnant and in Archaeology with me and she wasn't there today. So after class I called and left a message on her cell telling her to call me. She left me a message on my cell, and when I checked it she sounded a little shaky and talked about how she was in the ER for 4 hrs. My first thought was "omg! i hope she didn't lose the baby." Fortunately, though after 2-3 minutes about talking about the tests and stuff in the ER, she said nothing was wrong. She has an appt tomorrow but everything is looking good for her. Thank God.

I get to go home on Friday! After choir dress rehearsal, I am driving straight home to see my family! YAY! Of course, once I get to the house we have to leave bc Jade is cooking dinner for Javier for their 3 month. Gag me. But oh well, as long as I get to spend time with my parents its all good.

Anyways, I am gonna get going so I can finish up my stuff and relax. Hope everyone has a good day tomorrow. G'night y'all!

P.S. Thanks for the comment Lauren. The same goes for you. We'll both have our princes someday. I love my Glinda!

My introduction into the blogging world

2004-10-19T21:28:00.000-07:00

I finally broke down and decided to become a part of the blog network. I figured I have been writing so much that hey why not share what I have to say with others. So I will just make this first one short, and use it as my intro entry. Hello to all my friends!

Random rambling

2004-10-19T19:59:00.000-07:00

Ok time for my first real blog entry instead of just my intro. Life for me is pretty uneventful right now. I just finished up a show, The Laramie Project, which I kind of miss. It was my life for 6 months and now its over. I think the reason I miss it is bc I am gonna miss seeing all the people that I was used to seeing everyday. It was a great show with great people.
Moving on, there really isn't anything interesting going on in my life. Life back home, in Jasper, isn't much more interesting according to my mama. The most interesting news she has to tell me is that my grandma is getting her hip replaced AGAIN. . . my 14 yr old sister Jade is celebrating her 3 month anniversary this week. . . and my 16 yr old sister Jasmine celebrated her 11 month anniversary last week. Speaking of which, how depressing is it that my younger sisters have better luck with guys than I do? Story of my life. I just wish someone would expain guys to me. Personally I think I am an amazing person who is sweet, intelligent, fun, and yes maybe not gorgeous but I am not bad-looking. . . so why is it that I can't find a guy? Somebody please explain why some of the stupidest and sluttiest girls have guys and I don't. Oh wait . . . I know. . . its bc THEY ARE STUPID AND SLUTTY! Anyways, I know that I am not the only one who is going through this. . . so I will stop complaining.
In other random news, my cousin asked me to sing in her wedding which is cool. It's in January so its kinda short notice but its all good. Maybe in 3 1/2 months time I will have someone to bring as a date. Doubt it. I have a choir concert on Sunday. It's the first Chamber Choir concert of the year. Hopefully we will have a good crowd.
Well I am gonna wrap this entry up. Hopefully my friends will be able to help me make my blog more interesting. In the meantime, g'night y'all.

Random song lyrics in my head (thanks to Laramie preshow music):

I'm tired of living in this bubble
So today I'm changing everything
Well, my dream's been buried in the rubble
It's time to set it free
No more keeping quiet this life inside of me

I'm gonna start living out loud
My soul's been dying
To scream and shoutAnd shatter the silence
It's a beautiful sound when each moment counts
Starting right now, I'm gonna start living out loud